Maddy Barnes has shared with us materials to support KS2, she is a successful assistant head teacher now working in Manchester. Maddy is a very experienced year 6 teacher and has spent most of her teaching career in Salford. We believe these examples will help teachers in moderating KS2.
Key Stage 2 Writing at Greater Depth Standards referenced to Frankie’s exemplification materials
|Features||Examples from Frankie’s Writing|
|Creates atmosphere||A) Opening paragraph where humour combines with tension to create the impression of apparent collusion between reader and writer: distant snoring; his heart raced
A) Tense atmosphere created through the use of short sentences and phrases and apt vocabulary choices (darted, grabbed, bolted)
B) Minute recording of physical sensations: an unexpected flutter
B) Vivid backstage description: tall skinny girls chattering and giggling
E) Progressive form creates a sense of immediacy: was thrashing; was even collecting; was drowning
|Integrates dialogue to convey character and advance the action||A) Succinct integration of dialogue “Ewan!” as the climax to the first paragraph
E) Short piece of dialogue including questions advances the action: Why weren’t they answering? Didn’t they want to see me?
|Range of cohesive devices||A) Pronouns, adverbs: Now; Suddenly; Then
A) Repetition of detail: urging; the seventh one
A) Ellipsis to withhold information: Had he been seen…?
C) A labelled diagram to support the explanation
C) Fronted adverbial to emphasise the prettiness of the shoes: With their pink satin and silky ribbons, these shoes have been around since 1795.
C) Adverbials: Meanwhile; consequently; occasionally
C) Pronoun links: Pointe shoes… these shoes… they… This exact thing (avoid repetition)
D) Powerful headline and sub-headings
E) Ellipsis: Or so I thought…
E) Adverbials: Right now; It was all fine at first; Soon enough; By now
F) Using –ing verbs: Switching…; Attending…; reading; visualizing; meeting
F) Effective conclusion: Overall, the day sounds amazing and I can’t wait for it to arrive.
|Using passive accurately||A) Past perfect passive form: Had he been seen?
C) Greater level of formality: they were invited; they are traditionally worn; there is an all male ballet company
C) Passive construction: It was also thought (until very recently)
D) Once she had been dragged under by the sea, she had been carried away from Boat Cove.
E) Mother had told me that the tin mining business had been shut down over a hundred years ago so what were they doing here?
E) The room, which was filled with official looking people, looked like it had been hit by a bomb
F) to have been chosen; is voted for by
|Using modal verbs accurately||D) so they thought she would be fine. But nobody can be fine|
|Wide range of clause structures||A) Controlled use of varied single clause sentences: All was black. He took a step out.
A) Controlled multi-clause sentence: My parent’s room’s door creaked and I bolted down the stairs – including the seventh one that makes an earsplitting thud when you step on it
B) Controlled multi-clause sentence consists of 3 co-ordinated clauses: I am in the dressing room with the music ringing in my ears; the small room is bustling with tall skinny girls chattering and giggling.
B) Single clause sentence: My racing heart thuds underneath my silky tutu. Thud. Thud. Thud.
B) Relative clause: which seemed to consist of about a million people
|Using adverbs||B) Provide balance and emphasis: extremely, even more
|Using preposition phrases||A) under the covers; out of bed; towards the door; in the darkness
|Using expanded noun phrases||B) bulky men with headsets and clipboards|
|Commas for clarity||B) Use of comma between the 2 clauses gives additional weight to the final clause: I gave a little smile, and began to dance.
|Punctuation for parenthesis||D) She was discovered a mile or so out from Boat Cove, lying on the sand, surrounded by seaweed and cowrie shells.|
|Dashes||D) They explained that she needed only a few more inches to reach the toaster – but tragically those inches cost her her life!
E) I wasn’t just physically lost: I had no one – I had nothing.
|Hyphens||A) human-eating fridge
|Manages shifts between levels of formality||C) Appropriate level of informality: Have you ever wondered…? Keep on reading…
C) Well managed shift back to a more informal tone: Most people might ask ‘why hurt your feet like that>’ But as soon as you get into the ballet world your life ambition is to start pointe work. This exact thing…
D) Informal quotation and reported speech (were joking around…’ tragically those inches cost her her life) contrasts with more formal vocabulary choices of the reporter (recalled, explained)
E) Informal tone established through vocabulary (stuff; okay) and grammatical structure (I s’pose;… would take more than ten minutes, right?). This is contrasted with more figurative and descriptive detail (the monstrous waves were gathering out in the Atlantic; the frothing water thrashing against my ankles)
|Selects vocab precisely||A) Informal, conversational tone: He grabbed the biscuits and ran for it.
C) Selection of nouns to match the level of formality: length, shape, arch, flexibility, extension and strength
C) Informal vocabulary adopted appropriately: awesome; fan
D) Succinct formal statement: Yesterday, at dusk, Cherry Stone drowned at boat cove, supposedly making a necklace of cowrie shells for a ‘giant.’
D) Editorial comment: It’s very unusual
E) Levels of formalilty managed from the informal Hello; it’s me… to the somber impersonal tone of, Nobody survives a drowning in an Atlantic storm
F) Precise selection of technical literary terms: perspectives, imaginary, characters, reader, strands, author
|Selects verb forms for meaning and effect||A) Past to present tense: He raced down the creaking stairs – even the seventh one makes an earsplitting creak.
D) had been determined to finish; she had been told to be home; she would never return again; police officers have looked into the disaster and think that she was cut off; Had she already drowned?
E) Appropriate selection of verb forms to manage the time frames: holding this pen; hovering in the air; never really liked writing a diary; it would be fun to look back on when I am older.
F) I am; to have been chosen; have visited; to find out; which sounds
|Semi-colons to mark the boundary between independent clauses||A) As his heart raced he stared into the darkness; he could hear the fridge urging him on – willing him to move.
E) Everything was fine; it all seemed so calm.
F) Attending the award ceremony will give me the opportunity to discuss my love of books with children from other schools; I know that I will enjoy socialising and chatting to people I haven’t met before.
|Colons to mark the boundary between independent clauses||D) The search party believe that she was collecting shells and the sudden change of weather came quickly: she didn’t have enough time to get away.
E) I wasn’t just physically lost: I had no one – I had nothing.
F) I have read ‘Split Second’ which I thought was a thrilling story: in fact, it is a real page-turner and I have recommended it to several friends.
Key Stage 2 Writing at Expected Standards referenced to Morgan and Leigh’s exemplification materials
|Features||Examples from Morgan’s Writing||Examples from Leigh’s Writing|
|Creates atmosphere||D) Descriptive writing: One spooky night; trudging through the misty, murky moors||E) Opening paragraph transplants the tale of Jack: In 2621 on the planet Zordo, a young but poor boy carefully fixed his droid
E) Descriptive detail in 3 ways – signals the turning point in the narrative; an –ed verb form functions as an adjective and an expanded noun phrase: Puzzled, Jack walked over to the mysterious and multicoloured hole in the wall and turned back to the old man with a speechless face
|Integrates dialogue to convey character and advance the action||See narrative writing||A) Opening with dialogue: “Lauren, I have just received…
E) ‘Why would I want a good for nothing stick?’
|Range of cohesive devices||B) Straightforward adverbials: When I walked into the hall, Firstly, During break, After lunch
B) Pronouns: it was, I knew this by, He told us,
D) Dialogue: ‘We’ll invite the King over for a celebration… Sleep now, you look tired’
D) Repetition of vocab: trudged, misty, murky moors, cackling witches
|A) Positioning pronoun prior to the noun: Quickly, a light gust of wind moved towards her but when it had passed, it left Lauren…|
|Using passive accurately||A) she was planted
C) some of the days of the week were named after Viking gods
D) But the disgusting hags were no where to be seen
D) Justice had been done.
E) graffiti can be considered/ can be recognised
|A) all the bags were packed, BMW was parked and they set off
B) the brain is not needed, it can be fed to the dogs
C) if you were a poor person you would be called a ‘penny stinker’
D) were thought to be; were known as
E) the gold has been stolen
F) which have only been seen once before in 1632!
|Using modal verbs accurately||A) she couldn’t run||A) What could she do now?
B) can be, it should go
C) where the poorest people would go,
D) they could see; their performance will be cursed!
E) Should I risk my life?
F) May I say, I was
|Wide range of clause structures||A) Fronted subordinate clause: Before she knew it, there were millions of…
A) ING verb to introduce subordination: Anabeth sat next to her father, thinking about the picture and where it would be
B) Relative clause: who had very long hair
C) Subordination: using although and coordination using but
D) Fronted adverbial: One spooky midnight
D) Narrator’s comment: Has she climbed into my mind?
E) Subordinating conjunction: while other people
E) Contrast: On the other hand; on the contrary; while other people believe
|A) Relative clause: where the film crew were waiting
A) Fronted subordinate clause: Determined to escape,
A) Varied references to the same item: her brand new winter boots; her super strong winter boots; one of them; one of the boots
B) Informal introduction and conclusion, direct address to the reader
B) Presentational devices: headings, sub-headings and bullet points
B) Fronted adverbials: When completed, Next,
C) To establish time frames: last Friday, As the day carried on
D) a précis: Frank Matchan, who was the owner of the kings theatre
F) Single clauses: This morning, 4th April in the year of the Queen 1866,
F) Relative clause: which were all dressed alike and beautiful; who inspired me to join him
|Using adverbs||A) To qualify precision: Suddenly, maybe, freely
B) To add emphasis: completely, really, obviously
E) To secure the argument: clearly, severely
|B) Qualify the imperative verbs: thoroughly
C) To emphasise the writer’s voice: obviously, fortunately
E) Add detail to verbs: Surreptitiously; quickly; accidently
|Using preposition phrases||B) Adverbially: out of clay, with a spear
C) Adverbially: with a silver sword
F: in the lemon; from the zinc strip; up the wire
|C) Advise the reader: inside the strips, in the right hand of the pharaoh
D) in the Elizabethan times; Despite cinemas, DVDS and Netflix; because of the curved walls
|Using expanded noun phrases||A) Brown hair and ocean blue eyes
C) The only improvement; a little more time; an amazing day
D) three raggedy hags; the second haggard witch
E) bad influence, younger children
|A) a phone call from work, some winter clothing
B) a coffin painted with a face
C) a dirty skeleton in a cage in public view; such a horrifying object in a local busy street
D) a glimpse of a lady’s ankle
E) a good for nothing stick
|Commas for clarity||C) really, really cool
E) but, on the contrary, children
F) If it buzzed,
|E) Jack stared for a moment at the stick which was crippled, useless and definitely worth nothing|
|Punctuation for parenthesis||B) Relative clause (which was really hard)
D) Dashes: So furious that he charged – once again – into Birnam Woods
|C) (which is Romeo’s family name)|
|Semi-colons||D) To mark the boundary between independent clauses: The next night, Macbeth and Lady Macbeth invited the king to go to their house; they had a glorious feast||C) However they were able to see what no on else was able to see; it was a beautiful detailed painting with a drawing of the sun.
E) You’re back already; where’s the money?
|Dashes||C) To mark the boundary between independent clauses: traders and crafters – and that was the end of the day
|A) To mark a strong afterthought: with an angry mind – ready to attack
C) the Globe theatre – which is where Shakespeare’s plays are shown
D) to get to the gallery – which is also known as
|Colons||B) To introduce a list
F) To introduce a bulleted list
|D) To introduce sub headings|
|Hyphens||F) a low-power battery||C) co-operating
E) monster-like; no-one; brand-new
F) wine-red, astral-blue, action-packed
Key Stage 2 Writing at Working Towards the Expected Standard referenced to Alex’s exemplification materials
|Features||Examples from Alex’s Writing|
|Describe settings and characters||A) Some description of setting: a glorious day; a happy place to live
B) Expanded noun phrases: idiotic, stupid and foolish girl
C) Expanded noun phrase to add detail: a woman with red hair
D) Expanded noun phrases: some brave people, the first two people
|Uses some cohesive devices within and across sentences and paragraphs||A) Relative clause (passive + modal): which could be heard from the bottom of the street
A) Adverbials: For a long time; that night
A) Pronouns: everyone, it
A) Reference chains: the village houses; the street competition
C) Adverbials: Suddenly; A couple of minutes later; In an interview
C) Pronouns: they wouldn’t stop; People… everyone
D) Simple reference chains: mountains, hill, groups, ranges/forests, forestry
F) Fronted subordinate clause: If you are going to…
|Uses different verb forms mostly accurately||A) Progressive form: were singing, was playing, were doing
A) –ing verbs: swaying, pushing, shoving, blushing
C) Simple past tense: occurred, -ing form to convey the consequence: resulting and the past progressive: were strolling
C) Past progressive: were running; was screaming
C) Present progressive: are still searching and the Present perfect: have not seen him yet
E) Present perfect form: It has come to my attention that you have recently received…
F) Imperative: come, have
|Uses co-ordinating and subordinating conjunctions||A) and, until, but, as
B) because, after
B) If Juliet doesn’t marry…
D) Multi clause: The weather is extremely cold up in the mountains where it has harsh conditions and the summits are capped in snow.
|Question marks||B) How could she do this to me?|
|Exclamation marks||A) Um ah I’m going out with my friends!|
|Commas for lists||A) They got their ice cream, raced home and found out that their parents hated each other.
D) thick, heavy layers
- It was not appropriate to evidence all of the ‘I can’ statements for this pupil (capital letters, full stops, apostrophes for contraction and uses paragraphs to organise ideas)
- Although Alex meets many of the expected standard features, I have focused on the ‘Working towards expected’ in this grid.